I want to begin this post with sharing a way that God most powerfully touched my heart this past week.
Last week for the first time since I have been here, I began to have doubts about staying an additional year. I love my job and I couldn't ask for better students, but the lonliness has finally set in and at times I wonder if I am really making a difference here. Whether to stay or go completely consumed my thoughts on Thursday and as I settled into bed that night I just prayed that God would send the Holy Spirit to comfort my heart and grant me peace. I read My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers every night and the title of Thursday's reading was "Why Can I Not Follow You Now?" The following words reminded me that God was near and He does indeed hear us.
"When God brings a time of waiting, and appears to be unresponsive, don't fill it with busyness, just wait. The time of waiting may come to teach you the meaning of sanctification or it may come after the process of sanctification has begun to teach you what service means. Never run before God give you His direction. If you have the slightest doubt, then He is not guiding. Whenever there is doubt- wait. ...... Wait for God's timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move. ...... There is now only One who directs the course of your life, the Lord Jesus Christ."
I do not know where I will be next year or what I will be doing, but God does. He not only knows but He will also lead. During His time on Earth Jesus promised his people, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you." John 14:27 I can rest easy knowing that the peace of Christ is upon me.
Funny thing happened last week, which many of you will not be surprised at given my track record with hairstyles. So I went to get a haircut and had a really cute picture to take with me. I took my Chinese teacher Bunny with me so she could help explain what I wanted. I showed them the picture and they said, "Oh sure we can do that. But we need to perm her hair first." Of course my response was, "OH NO NO NO NO!!" They continued to insist that I get a perm because everyone here has perms. After arguing for several minutes I finally just threw my hands up and said," Ok, fine whatever." They began cutting my hair and I noticed that it was beginning to look a little like a mullet. I began to get a little worried but I just kept telling myself that it was only hair and it would grow back. Once he finished cutting it, it actually looked really cute and not so much like a mullet anymore. Then he proceeded to perm my hair, which took 4 1/2 hours. Once it was all finished, it didn't look that bad and I actually really like it. It isn't really curly, but it does feel a little like straw. The perm wasn't really necessary because I can achieve the same look with a curling iron, but I have realized that people here do what they want to do and not always what you tell them to do. I guess when in China, do as the Chinese do!!